Photo By John HoffWord is Keith Reitman, a gregarious slumlord in North Minneapolis, got rather riled up by a few things I wrote on this blog about his "ugly ass chocolate brown building" on the 1400 block of West Broadway. He went so far as to send me a little "parody" of my own writing style.
The piece of writing was amusing, so I'm going to print the whole thing with, of course, some minor grammar and punctuation corrections...
Minors, Bottle Rockets and Swizzle Sticks...or When JNS Takes The Low Road.
By Slumlord Keith Reitman
These paragraphs, below, are simply me offering you, Johnny, a mimicking example of your style of writing in its LOWEST MOMENTS.
It is also the second time I've "booed" in the last ten years. The first, and only other time was at a State of The City speech by then Mayor Sayles-Belton, as reported by Tom Lyden of 9 News. Never ever at a Jordan Livability Forum.
Ever.
Boo John, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
On July 5 the Johnny Northside Blog featured a photo of John Hoff's son, posed with a couple other minors, holding crisscrossed bottle rockets. The attribution for the photo was "Photo by John Hoff."
It is at least a petty misdemeanor to possess that type of explosive in the city of Minneapolis and the State of Minnesota. A worse offense is an adult, perhaps a father, providing that type of incendiary device to his child and the child's friends, and then posing them for a photo. Child endangerment, corrupting morals, illegal possession, bad stuff and more sinful than
possession of a "Sharpie" by a landlord. Far more serious.
I also have VERY RELIABLE source information that certain children were using the bottle rockets provided to them as swizzle sticks for "high quality" alcoholic beverages they were sipping while certain parents were busy with their own beverages.
I am not very familiar with City Ordinance chapter and verse; perhaps some of the cops that follow your blog might post them for us. That is the miracle of the Internet and the angels that read and post here (mostly anonymously).
Key words: Johnny Rocket, John Hoff, John Hoffman, John Dillinger, Ethyl Rosenberg, Larry Maxwell, The Phantom of the Opera, Adolph Hitler, Satan.
...
(John,) What I wrote above is creative writing, my rapping off some of your worst reporting of factual inaccuracies, simplistic moralizing, and mean-spirited editorializing. Your low road soirees, of course, are most disappointing and easily recognized by me, when directed at me.
Much of your jazz is just great reading so I know you can do better.
I invite you to meet with me again and get a more clear idea of "the big picture."
Keith Reitman
-------------------------
JNS responds: Keith, word is you're all worked up about the things I'm writing and you've actually asked for a "summit." To this I respond: put some nice trim on your ugly ass chocolate brown building, which people have been complaining about for a long time.
Do that and we'll sit down and have a summit.
Furthermore, I have ANOTHER witness who says you actually STOOD TO YOUR FEET and booed the presenter at the Livability Forum at Jordan New Life Church seven or eight years ago. So there.
The piece of writing was amusing, so I'm going to print the whole thing with, of course, some minor grammar and punctuation corrections...
Minors, Bottle Rockets and Swizzle Sticks...or When JNS Takes The Low Road.
By Slumlord Keith Reitman
These paragraphs, below, are simply me offering you, Johnny, a mimicking example of your style of writing in its LOWEST MOMENTS.
It is also the second time I've "booed" in the last ten years. The first, and only other time was at a State of The City speech by then Mayor Sayles-Belton, as reported by Tom Lyden of 9 News. Never ever at a Jordan Livability Forum.
Ever.
Boo John, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
On July 5 the Johnny Northside Blog featured a photo of John Hoff's son, posed with a couple other minors, holding crisscrossed bottle rockets. The attribution for the photo was "Photo by John Hoff."
It is at least a petty misdemeanor to possess that type of explosive in the city of Minneapolis and the State of Minnesota. A worse offense is an adult, perhaps a father, providing that type of incendiary device to his child and the child's friends, and then posing them for a photo. Child endangerment, corrupting morals, illegal possession, bad stuff and more sinful than
possession of a "Sharpie" by a landlord. Far more serious.
I also have VERY RELIABLE source information that certain children were using the bottle rockets provided to them as swizzle sticks for "high quality" alcoholic beverages they were sipping while certain parents were busy with their own beverages.
I am not very familiar with City Ordinance chapter and verse; perhaps some of the cops that follow your blog might post them for us. That is the miracle of the Internet and the angels that read and post here (mostly anonymously).
Key words: Johnny Rocket, John Hoff, John Hoffman, John Dillinger, Ethyl Rosenberg, Larry Maxwell, The Phantom of the Opera, Adolph Hitler, Satan.
...
(John,) What I wrote above is creative writing, my rapping off some of your worst reporting of factual inaccuracies, simplistic moralizing, and mean-spirited editorializing. Your low road soirees, of course, are most disappointing and easily recognized by me, when directed at me.
Much of your jazz is just great reading so I know you can do better.
I invite you to meet with me again and get a more clear idea of "the big picture."
Keith Reitman
-------------------------
JNS responds: Keith, word is you're all worked up about the things I'm writing and you've actually asked for a "summit." To this I respond: put some nice trim on your ugly ass chocolate brown building, which people have been complaining about for a long time.
Do that and we'll sit down and have a summit.
Furthermore, I have ANOTHER witness who says you actually STOOD TO YOUR FEET and booed the presenter at the Livability Forum at Jordan New Life Church seven or eight years ago. So there.
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