Eating Fear and Vomiting Self-Reproach

I am in a frenzy. The best-friend says I let Mr. Big read my journal because it was so very me to do so. I had wanted to place my heart at the tip of a stake and see if he would impale it, simply because I enjoyed the anticipation, the fear. It never occurred to me that way, but perhaps subconsciously, it was a reason. More then anything, it was done upon an absolute spur of the moment;