Psychoanalysis through a Love Letter

I don’t know what I was thinking, and I don’t know what to think. I let Mr. Big read my journal. He wanted to read it, because it had him in it. I don’t know what to feel and my emotional state has reached a strange sort of unpleasant excitement where my heart clocks up a 120 pulse rate per minute. I thought about it over some rather over-exposed wine the whole morning after he’d left for work.

07.23 | 0 komentar | Read More

Environmentalism

Serving Suggestion: French Wine and Pink Floyd.
I’ve been feeling like sitting around naked with a bunch of other people drinking wine, smoking pot and condemning progress. I genuinely have nothing against society evolving and growing, while humanizing the environment, really. But there’s just something so sexy about cursing the likes of Shell and the CAP, eating organic food, dried fruit

05.58 | 0 komentar | Read More

The Attraction of The Occident

I've grown up a little in the past few months. With all the blooging I've been doing; it's helped me understand bits of myself I didn't previously. And I thought I would re-write the Why White Men essay. But with a different, less bigoted, more compassionate slant this time.


***
It’s been a good few months since the time I wrote the initial reasoning for this phenomena; I say phenomena

08.13 | 0 komentar | Read More

Drunk

Fuck. Have you ever tried to be drunk for 24 whole fucking hours? Well, I'm fucking drunk and it feels good. Yes i was rejected. I cannot comprehend rejection. Sometimes all the sex appeal in the world is simply just not enough in the face of responsibility. I respect him. He's amazing. He's so full of integrity. And me? I'm just a mad kid who doesn't know what she's living for. That's the

08.24 | 0 komentar | Read More

The Importance of Being Earnest

Have I ever mentioned that my favourite play was The Importance of Being Earnest? I really love it. I like the laughter the ironies of life can incite.

xoxox

20.01 | 0 komentar | Read More

Obscenity

I’m nearly finished with a second read of Gorges Bataille’s Blue of Noon, I didn’t rush through it this time, and gave the narrative a lot of thought. And this time, I realized what he was attempting to do with the language. He was using it to disgust the reader. To make every possible sensations obscene, to pronograph-ize the emotion. And then it occurred to me that anything in this world can

04.45 | 0 komentar | Read More

I Could Have Been Wrong

Sometime back I condemned reality, something I presently wish I could offer my apologies to, if it were possible. But it incessantly eludes me, with fact and fiction void of definition within my little space. You can never know anything, because life will always be more capricious then any fickle-minded fancy you are capable of conjuring. I have proven it to myself. I can never imagine

08.43 | 0 komentar | Read More

Keeping my Hands Off.

November, December… August. 10 months. It’s been a long time the Boy and I have been together. I called him yesterday (and it’s a big deal to me, because I don’t call him very often) to reiterate a perfectly peculiar dream I remembered upon waking up. I can’t recall much, only that I had woken up remembering him holding my hand throughout the night as we spooned on plastic sun-chairs. In the

04.31 | 0 komentar | Read More

On Blogging.

All-right. I’ve nearly almost never blogged about the feedback I got through email, mostly because it always seemed to me a terribly egotistical thing to do, and secondly, because there are better things to blog about. Not that I do not appreciate compliments about the way I write and my ability to tell stories or the criticisms on the perception of my thoughts. But things seem to be getting out

07.23 | 0 komentar | Read More

Coffee and Cigerettes

The last few hours have been splendidly strange. Most of it was spent in the plush couches of all the secret cafes I could think of, lounging about over long blacks, his hands massaging my thighs with my feet propped up onto His lap. Ocassionally, he'd bend down to kiss my knee and the side of my calves, lick the tips of my fingers, asking for a 'real' kiss, leaving me feeling completely out of

02.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

Serendipity

I met a thoughtful boy at the bookstore today. We talked about philosophy for 8 hours and walked around the country. Then we made out by my pool. He loves Waking Life too, and he's given me a book by Voltaire; Candide.

I'll give a detailed account when it's all over. Because it isn't. We're to meet for breakfast tomorrow, but he doesn't have an alarm clock, so he might just not turn up. But it

09.07 | 0 komentar | Read More

I Bet You Knew...

That I have oatmeal and milk for breakfast every morning.

That I love Pistachio Gelato.

That if I could choose a person to answer the meaning of life (not taking into account the exsistence of any spiritual being), it would be Umberto Eco.

My favourite flower is the Cyclamen.

My favourite sandwich filling is peanut butter and jam.

And the best muscians alive today are the Dave Matthew's Band

08.03 | 0 komentar | Read More

Old Habits Die Hard

Ever since my Grandma died, my daddy's been going though truckloads of old photographs dating all the way back to the 1920s. My Grandmama's been dead for about 2 months already, and I still can't believe that she is, but it doesn't affect me as much anymore.

He's up to the 1980's now, and my mom came into my room today with a photo that pictured me rolling on my back, touching my toes (as you

07.04 | 0 komentar | Read More

Red-Flag

The Girlfriend continually reminds me of the fact that I have a crush on the Gallery Guy. Of course I have a crush on him, I’d freely admit that. I like having crushes, it’s so nice to be at the giving end of the infatuation line occasionally. And mind you, I mean Very occasionally only. Any more then that would be simply detrimental to my ego. Now, all throughout the week I’d been wanting

08.27 | 0 komentar | Read More

I Really Don’t Give a Shit

Really. Especially when it comes to wearing bras. I HATE bras. If it weren’t for the fact that the breast wrapping hegemony advertised constantly that your breasts were bound to sag if you didn’t wear the ‘proper’ bra, I would never wear them unless it’s primary purpose was to do the whole not-really-there thing. Think delicate lace with Mallorca pearls, tie dyed ones with sunflowers on the

07.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Prescription Sex

I did a silly survey on Deviant Art today, and it asked me the name of a famous person I would wish to have lunch with, if I could. I would presume that when you had lunch with a famous person, you’d want to get to know things about him that were not already known, and with famous people, how much is there left to find out that he would tell you over lunch? So I added in another question

23.21 | 0 komentar | Read More

Singapore has gotten to you if...

9. You think it's okay to have only one meaningful choice on a ballot.

(Agreed. I don't have much faith in the western ideal of democracy anyway.)

15. You think that S$100,000 [= US$ 57,000] is a reasonable price for a Toyota Corolla and S$1,000,000 is a reasonable price for a bungalow, but S$5 [= US$2.85] for a plate of fried noodles is a barbarous outrage.

(Uncannily, I feel that Mr. B is

05.19 | 0 komentar | Read More

Socially Stratified

People in Singapore are class conscious. Secretly, we are, no matter how much we pretend we’ve all really been amassed by the government into one big throng conveniently called the middle-class. The divide is not as apparent here as it is the other south-east Asian cities with yawning wealth inequality, but it’s there. People are conscious of each other’s wealth, and despite everyone living

05.16 | 0 komentar | Read More

Falling Out

I met the G-spot. Finally. After a long hiatus for no apparent reason I can think of aside from the fact that these days I’m stuck studying for exams and that he was probably out of town for a long while. Someone actually asked me what had happened to him, did guys drop out of my life ‘just like that’? In answer to the question, yes. It’s rather bizarre when you think about it. How can someone

05.06 | 0 komentar | Read More

Perfect Girlfriend

(text) I kinda tried to teach myself how to be the perfect girlfriend.

Indeed.
I perverted myself as a kid because that's what the TV shows told me guys wanted. Guys liked latex and leather, anal sex and orgies. They didn't know how to commit and only cared for the pretty girls.

Of course I grew up. And I don't do all those things because I want to be the perfect girlfriend anymore. I would

07.52 | 0 komentar | Read More

Germatriculator

What the hell? My blog is 67% evil. But I thought I was such an angel!

The Gweilo Diaries rates a shocking 99% good. Go figure ;)

And This is 79% good.

Wedding Guest Eats Victim
Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay's body using coconut leaves and kerosene, Bacuel said. Baule senior later forced Buyot to take a bite of Ganay's flesh,

11.16 | 0 komentar | Read More

Aficionado

I went back to the gallery again, after quite some while. I stood outside for a moment contemplating the guy who runs the place. I do so want to get to know him. I always think about a number of things before I enter the gallery. One of it concerns the retail syndrome. It’s where you simply don’t want to stand around for too long because you’re not going to buy anything. Quite a stupid way

07.44 | 0 komentar | Read More

Friendster Network Nightmare

Have you EVER thought about how many people you've slept with to the second degree?

I made a rough maximum estimate today. It had to be an estimate, because some guys never disclose exactly how many partners they've had. I suppose it would be a weird thing to do, but they usually don’t mind telling when I ask, because I'm not one to bitch about sexual histories. I have no right to, after all.

05.28 | 0 komentar | Read More

What the Hell?

My couzzie's a DJ?
And on one of the hottest radio stations too?
She sounds terribly manufactured, but I cannot deny, absolutely fantastic at the same time.

I am duly envious.

xoxox

07.10 | 0 komentar | Read More

My Cellphone is Badly Behaved.

Aside from the fact that it has decided to loose it's volume control entirely on it’s own accord –everyone sounds horribly loud and absolutely uncouth now-, it has also been telling me very naughty things the whole day, and bothering me more then I would like it to in the wee hours of the morning. ***

Guys get terribly emotional when drunk. They feel like cuddling and fucking, up to the point

05.08 | 0 komentar | Read More