Sesame, Vanilla and Mint oil

They were offering massages by the beach under coconut tress for a couple fo bucks, it was lovely. I smell like Sesame oil (the cooking sort, honestly, and vanilla ice-cream. Basically, I feel eatable) and my skin tingles with mint.

Ethan and I woke up early, challeneged each other to swim to the opposite island, even though it was clear that I was going to lose anyway, I gave up half way,

01.42 | 0 komentar | Read More

Getting Out :D

Bangkok was a great deal of fun. We're both equally tragic with maps (actually,I'm marginally better. My sense of direction and intuition with where to go is also better. I'm still working on the getting ripped off bit. But there's not much you can do about that I suppose, when you don't speak the language).

I cannot be bothered to get through how I feel, honestly. It's just been alot of fun,

21.47 | 0 komentar | Read More

Kinda Stressed, but...

It's been absolutely great so far. We're both quite cool with each other, I don't suppose I feel much different with him now then I did two years ago actually, which, how shall I put it, comfortable. Our finances are a mess of course, but we'll work things out subsequently. My mother think's he's a 'nice boy', but insists that we MUST come back for Chinese New Year, which is a terrible headache.

02.24 | 0 komentar | Read More

Not Too Bad

Thing always turn out better then how you expect them to be. I cancelled on Dr. Seuss today, because I woke up with my lungs aching like crazy. For a fraction of a second, my mind went, ‘shit, tuberculosis!’, but of course it wasn’t. They were fine after a good long nap, from which Chris woke me up with when he called.

I met him late in the afternoon, and I felt like cocktail hour by the pool. I

10.03 | 0 komentar | Read More

Update

The past few days have been unforgivably hectic. Martine is very upset at me, for some stupid reasons. And he thinks I get jealous over Liz sometimes. I asked him if he was really sad for her that her grandmother has died only because I was wondering if he actually could care for her, or was he simply just doing things because he had to do them. Of course he probably felt a little sad, but to

23.06 | 0 komentar | Read More

A Little Theory

After Martine had convinced me that nearly all of his books by Milan Kundera he had read in French, I decided to buy my own. Besides, I liked owning all my reading material. But of course I like it even more when I allow myself the liberty of owning the possessions of someone I adore. So I bought Laughable Loves today. In the process of this particular quest bumping into two girlfriends, one of

05.42 | 0 komentar | Read More

JFK

'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country' -JFK

Fair enough. But does this country appreciate what I'm already doing for it? Does it listen? Does it want me to take an active stand, or does it wish for me to do what it wants me to do, in which case, patriotism would not be a requirement, (what is required instead) is simply an inability to leave.

Don't you

04.21 | 0 komentar | Read More

And She Is.

The city stands, charmingly bona fide in it’s consistency. Despite it’s people, with their capricious moods and inherent desires that shift and change by the moment, she stands. There is nothing for her to anticipate, nothing for her to fear. The people simmer inside her, going on about their lives, falling into place as gears well oiled for the continuity of the city. Fed upon the fear of

22.02 | 0 komentar | Read More

Moral Quacks

I don’t really write much about the whole racial thing any more because I generally don’t like to think of people in terms of the colour of their skin. I think it quite unfair actually, how so many local people can find it logical to slander someone based on their choice of lifestyle and partner, and accuse me of being racist against my own. If I am racist against my own race, then so are they,

21.58 | 0 komentar | Read More

If Only I Could Die for a Little While

Sometimes I think about heaven and wonder at how absurd it is that all that stands in our way is death. I mean, the difference in the quality of life (as believed by some) between heaven and earth is completely vast. Heaven’s supposed to be this… complete utopia… and all that’s required to attain it is to... die. And it’s really not such a big deal. Technically if you shot yourself, it’ll be

07.23 | 0 komentar | Read More

i Mac Angel

Too many weird things have happened in the last couple of days. Actually, it's just been one day. When I've managed to cosolidate myself I'll blog about it. In the meanwhile, I'd really rather be reading.



xo

01.31 | 0 komentar | Read More

Tropical Silence

The day passed by in a delirium of sultry stillness, giving me hours with which I could find time for detachment from the necessity to be with people. The afternoon was self-affirming. I made myself worthy to be worshipped and worshipped myself. Surely there is something admirable in the nature that, at times, desires remoteness from everything that does not matter. Which is just about everything

06.48 | 0 komentar | Read More

Girl.

Cool. I just realized the site I did for my Brother's school band is up. It's nothing spetecular, but... just to prove that my computer capabilities aren't all that tragic.

School Band

xo

03.55 | 0 komentar | Read More

Tropical Stillness

I woke up this morning and felt so lonely. No one had called me out for brunch, my painting’s been done so there’s nothing pressing for me to complete, the book I’m reading is so difficult to get through; so beautifully written but so impossible to read. I felt, I feel, lonely.

I don’t particularly wish to be with anyone. Martine perhaps, but he’s beset with his own set of problems. He was in a

21.51 | 0 komentar | Read More

Remixed the Birth of Venus

No dates today, so I stayed home to finish her.



Rushing off for a photo-shoot now, need to buy new lingerie. Screw Martine. I still miss the G-Spot a little. He told me I make him think of the Midsummer's night dream. *sigh*

xoxox

01.35 | 0 komentar | Read More

Melancholy

The G-Spot asked if I’d like to drop by his place late last night, and I did. I wasn’t going to have the time otherwise, and he would be leaving this weekend, so I thought I’d just better. He was lovely company as usual, and we cuddled up in bed watching Stealing Beauty, a pretty bizarre movie with Liv Tyler and Jeremy Irons in it.

It was great spending the night cuddling with him. I don’t

07.37 | 0 komentar | Read More

Lust

I had dinner with Mr. Big sometime back. We still hang out sometimes, although not much these days. He has his life and I have mine, and it was good to have spent all that time with him, but things have faded out pretty much these days. I won’t use fade away though, because I don’t believe in that. In my life, people I really get to know somehow just don’t do that, and I quite like it this way.

03.12 | 0 komentar | Read More

Several Notes

Allright, for some reason, a lot of people have been emailing me with regards to the post on religion a few days ago. A lot of them have mentioned free choice. There is unhappiness on Earth because God has given us free choice.

I used to do a lot of pre-ordained evangelism (it was part of the regiment of being a Christian in the institution I used to attend) and I’ve used it many times

11.13 | 0 komentar | Read More

Wake Up Girl

I actually think I’m getting better at this. At slowly weaning myself off my parents, systematically loosing dependence. If I were any older, I’d be a fraud to be writing everything I did, and to still be living with them. It’s too Singaporean, not that being Singaporean is bad, but rather the fact that we just seem to live with our parents… forever.

Living is quite incomprehensible, don’t you

21.19 | 0 komentar | Read More

Food for Thought

If God was all powerful, then could he not have made the world a completely perfect place? And if there was a law he had to follow, and therefore as such, he could not have made the world a completely perfect place (and since the world was made for man, and all of creation to be enjoyed by man, the perfection he should have percieved should be what would be perfect when man looked upon it) then

09.34 | 0 komentar | Read More

Avarice Does Not Come A-Knocking

If there is one thing I am addicted to, it’s experience. It’s not sex, it’s not money, it could be people, but that’s inevitably a very necessary ingredient in order for experiences to formulate themselves. I think I am quite bored of the whole sex for money thing and have decided it's certainly not something I would like to do often. I've no problems with getting money for favours, but I will

09.01 | 0 komentar | Read More

Officially Sugared

I met Chris for drinks in the middle of the afternoon today, after leaving Dr. Seuss. He had wanted to book my entire afternoon for an illicit sojourn, but Chris had come down specially to see me and I couldn’t disappoint him, regardless of whether he really wanted to do the whole paying for company thing. I had gotten my test results from the Gyne earlier on in the day, and they were all

11.07 | 0 komentar | Read More

Sugar Daddies

They are very much fun to have. All the better if they are single, fit, easy-going, with modesty that is of inverse proportion to the money they make, and funny. Screw youth and beauty, I appreciate kindness, intellect and the capability for vast generosity more then anything in the world.

Had lunch with Dr. Seuss today, and was finishing up with coffee when Martine called. I felt terribly

09.46 | 0 komentar | Read More

There is One Intensity...

So much for me being independent from the drug that Martine provides me. That completely whacked out, insane, completely disarming, utterly unbalancing drug. I wouldn’t even call it love or passion, or anything for that matter. Not even desire. Certainly it’s a little of all of those, but I do not love him because love to me is when two people need each other. Passionate, up to a certain measure,

09.18 | 0 komentar | Read More

French Bordello

I’ve been completely busy the last couple of days, trying to figure out what to do for the next year (go back to school, which school, where, studying what… or finding a job I’ll learn something from) And spending time with Dr. Seuss.

Martine called me the moment he got free from Liz, whom he’d just gotten back from Bangkok from. Either he’s really into me –to have called me at once the moment

02.11 | 0 komentar | Read More

Fallen Angel

So Happy New Year's allright! 5 bangs in my first 24 hours into the year, not too bad really. And a little gift from one of my very talented photographers. I wish for him to have all the time in the world as he would like to work on his art. He is very good.

12.40 | 0 komentar | Read More

Happy New Years

So I’m a day late, no apologies. I was out having fun, partying like crazy, hitting on cute white guys and getting pissed so you can have interesting blog material. Although in retrospect, what I did on NYE is no more interesting that what most people did anyway, which is to say get wasted and herald in the New Year with a bang and a hang-over. And for some of the unfortunate, a scream at the

12.38 | 0 komentar | Read More